Showcase - Flat to Sparkling - I was hiding.....

This piece written by Anumita Shringi. 

What makes it go from flat to sparkling? Good use of adjectives, similes, metaphors.
Are you able to connect with the emotions in the story? She has used words to heighten the experience for the reader and make the reader feel what the character is feeling.

Keep it up, Anumita!

FLAT :

I was hiding in the bathroom. It was uncomfortable. But I couldn't come out, because HE was looking for me. Suddenly, I heard his footsteps!                        

Sparkling:

I have never been and would never ever like to be in such an uncomfortable, horrific situation.  I was hiding in the dark and dingy public bathroom. The floor was wet, the toilet was stinking, and the tap was running. On top of that, there were scary caterpillars and cockroaches. And as if that was not all, there were spiders with the webs reaching almost till my head. However, I had no other choice but to stay in this miserable place to save my life. A dangerous most wanted criminal was looking for me. I was investigating a case of kidnapping. While trying to overhear a conversation of the gang something happened and made them look towards me.  I ran for my life and luckily found this place to hide in which was not so visible. I could hear the footsteps of those people moving around here and there, searching for me. My heart was pumping so loudly that I felt that they could hear it. Suddenly I heard footsteps, steadily approaching in my direction and stopping just outside the bathroom. My heart beat stopped - I was trembling and felt darkness engulfing me! But then I heard those footsteps heading away.  Sigh! I felt relieved and thanked god.